Anyone can choose abstinence. Here’s how…

  • Make the decision: abstinence is a lifestyle, but it starts with a decision. Once you decide that abstinence is best for you write down your decision or get a free commitment card to carry with you by clicking here. [* Link to Ask HOPE form] Also, make your decision known to those close to you, friends/parents, who will support and encourage you.
  • Believe it: believe that you are a virgin again (mentally, socially, intellectually and spiritually depending on your values and beliefs) when you believe it, you will notice a change in the way you see yourself – your self-image.
  • Find supportive friends: it is important that you surround yourself with friends that hold the same standards as you do. It takes some of the pressure of engaging in sexual intimacy before marriage off of you. Such friends or peers will be a source of encouragement to push you toward your goal.
  • Educate yourself: Read articles on abstinence and get educated on the importance of abstinence. The more you know, the more your conviction will grow and the more prepared you’ll be to explain your choice to others.
  • Share your knowledge: Tell others about your choice to be abstinent and help to know about and avoid the spiritual, physical, intellectual, emotional and social risks that come with sex before marriage.
  • Date smart: when dating encourage abstinence by:
    • Spending time with each other’s families
    • Plan your dates ahead of time and avoid situations where you’re alone in a secluded place
    • Date in groups so you can get to know each others friends better and get to know each other better in social settings
    • Don’t date someone who doesn’t share your standard of saving sexual activity until marriage
    • Set a clear limit on physical contact/affection and make your standard known to each other and those close to you
    • Avoid the use of alcohol and drugs because they impair your judgment and increase your chances of doing things you wouldn’t otherwise consider
    • Be creative in planning dates that are fun and give you opportunities to learn more about the other person
  • Be prepared to say no: practice saying no. It’s important to say it clearly, assertively, with both verbal and non-verbal language, and to be consistent.